Weird Science: Fanfiction
Season 6, Episode 14:
"Turkeys R Us"
"You make man…"
Gary and Wyatt look at each other as the Weird Science song starts, showing the following scenes (note- 'S6!' means a new scene from season 6):
-The keyboard 'Enter' button is pressed
-Weird Science logo
-Lightning strikes the house
-View of Lisa, moving up
-Gary and Wyatt travel through the dream gate
-Bazooka boys forming
-Gary's poet within is zapped out right next to him
-With Lisa, Gary, and Wyatt in the background, Chett does the disco dance of innocence and his arm flies off
-Lisa blows magic kiss to Wyatt
Michael Manasseri clips
-Old West Wyatt gets pulled through the time warp
-(S6!) Falls down into an island lagoon
-Turns into nightmare id monster
-Head gets pulled off
-(S6!) In pajamas, with wet hair, gets zapped by Lisa into day clothes and dry hair
John Mallory Asher clips
-(S6!) Swings a frustrated fist in a black and white scene
-(S6!) About to bite an apple as it gets zapped into a remote control
-Lisa's finger touches his head, zapping him a super large brain
-Beams down inside Farber High with Tetrahydrozaline
Lee Tergeson clips
-Playing the piano on Groundhog Day
-Buccaneer hat placed on his head zaps him into the Pirate King
-Fighting Principal Scampi as the room flashes with yellow electricity
-(S6!) As suited Principal, gets face slapped
-Jumps down from ceiling as secret agent wearing black outfit
Vanessa Angel clips
-(S6!) Wearing a Scooby Doo T-shirt on a tropical island, zaps up a compass in her hand
-Carefully enters a dark cave, carrying a 'light saber' glowing stick
-Tiger on grave morphs into Lisa wearing a tiger-print dress
-Wearing glasses and suit disguised as a school teacher
-Large grinning close-up
- Gary and Wyatt in tuxedoes rocket up wearing jetpacks - Lisa, Gary, Wyatt, and Chett are all wearing earphones, singing around a microphone - (S6!) Lisa with her arms around Gary and Wyatt, zaps them and all 3 disappear - Black & white Dr. Frankenstein "She's alive! Alive!"
Screen fades in to the front steps of Farber High showing students enter school
TURKEYS R US
Scene cuts to Gary and Wyatt walking into their first class and taking their seats.
Wyatt: Allright! Last day before Thanksgiving recess. I'm so excited!
Gary: A four-day weekend? What's not to like about that?! Hey, are you're parents staying home this year or leaving you alone with Chett again?
Wyatt: Nope. Going away again.
Gary: Lucky! Mine never leave. Gonna be another boring weekend.
Wyatt: What about Tetra? Aren't you gonna spend Thanksgiving with her?
Gary: She's back home with Mr. & Mrs. T. So, it's just me and my folks this year.
Wyatt: Well, at least you have someone. Chett's even going away for the weekend, too!
Gary: No Chett? A whole house all to yourself! We've gotta take advantage of this - let's have Lisa zap something up - like another "Spy World" game?
Wyatt: I don't know, Gar. That Spy World game nearly got us killed, remember?
Gary: Yeah, but we survived. C'mon, Wy... it'll be fun.
The teacher (Mr. Palate) walks in to start class.
Mr. Palate: Okay class, enough chit-chat. I have your test papers from last week all graded. Needless to say that you all tanked... again. (passes them out)
Wyatt (whispering to Gary): Hey, Gar - how 'bout we have Lisa send us back to see how the Pilgrims celebrate Thanksgiving?
Gary: Eh, I don't wanna nag but why would you wanna go see a bunch of english men eat Turkey? (gets caught by Mr. Palate walking by with his test paper)
Mr. Palate: Gary Wallace. You'll especially be glad to know that the class will be re-taking the test next week. (hands him his paper —"F").
Cut to Wyatt's bedroom. Wyatt is lying on his bed looking through a magazine and Gary is sitting at the computer.
Gary: Okay so where are we gonna have Lisa zap us to this time?
Wyatt: I thought we were going back to see the Pilgrims do Thanksgiving
Gary: What? You still wanna go there?
Wyatt: You don't think the Pilgrims will be fun?
Lisa zaps in wearing a Pilgrim outfit.
Lisa: Who wants to go see the Pilgrims celebrate Thanksgiving?
Gary: Wyatt does. I want something exciting like another Spy World adventure. What do you say Lis? Can we have another game?
Lisa: Ah, I don't think that's a good idea, Gary. Remember last time? It almost killed you. I know... Wyatt wants to go back and see the Pilgrims and you want another "Spy World" type adventure, right? So how about we do a little of both? It'll be guarenteed fun!
Gary: Cool! I'm there!
Lisa: How 'bout you Wyatt? Are you with us?
Wyatt: Yeah, I guess so.
Lisa zaps them all out of Wyatt's room in a big blue flash of electricity as the screen fades out for the first commercial break.
Screen fades back in to show Lisa and the boys standing in a turkey field with 30-Some big, hungry turkeys running around.
Wyatt: Where are we, Lis?
Gary: ..and how come we're surrounded by all these hungry looking turkeys?
Lisa: We're in a "Round-up the Turkey" simulator. We have to gather all them up to take to the Pilgrims for dinner. C'mon guys it'll be fun.
Cut to show different attempts that they take to try and capture the turkeys. Each try something different. Lisa goes first.
Lisa: All right this one's mine. C'mon buster, over here. (claps her hands to try and bring him over. It works, or maybe a little too well... he starts charging towards her.) Hey, what do you think you're doing? Hold it right there, buster! Yikes!!! (Lisa starts running the opposite way as the turkey continues charging after her.) Wyyattt -- HEELLLP!!! This things after me! (after a few more minutes of continued running...) All right, buster you want a piece of me? (zaps a giant hole in the ground right infront of him and he falls in after trying to come to a skidding stop but skids right in.) There, take that!
Wyatt: Nice going, Lis!
Gary: Okay, my turn. (starts running after one of the turkeys trying to scoop it up in his arms) Hey, hold it will ya! Come here. Where ya going? (runs around after it and as soon as he gets just behind one of the turkeys, he bends down to try and scoop it up in his arms only to fall down face-first in a mud-puddle.) Ugh.
Lisa and Wyatt start laughing out loud. Gary gets back up shortly and hears them.
Gary: Oh shut up! It's not as easy as you think, Wy. Let's see you try and get one, huh?
Wyatt: Okay. You wanna see how it's done, I'll show you. (moves out into the Turkey field looking for an un-suspecting one that he can easily capture)
Gary: C'mon, Wy! Enough stalling. Go get one all ready!
Wyatt: This takes time and concentration, Gar. You can't just walk up to one and capture it. You have to first devise a clever plan and sneak up on it.
Lisa: Nice tactic, Wyatt.
Wyatt (spotting one): Okay, here we go. (walks slowly closer to the turkey while taking his hat off and getting it ready to put down right in front of the turkey's head to cover it's head with) Just a little longer and I'll have it.
Gary: Oh this will be good. Watch him fall down too! (laughs)
Lisa: Jeeze, Gary. Go easy on him. Maybe he can do it... (Gary turns and gives Lisa a "yeah, right!" face) ... you never know!
Wyatt: Would you two be quiet. I'm trying to concentrate here.
Lisa: Sorry, Wyatt.
Wyatt continues walking closer to the turkey and when he gets back right behind it... he reaches way out infront sticking his hat out over the Turkey's head and then snags the Turkey with his hat (covers the turkeys head with it). The turkey immediatelt takes off in a full sprint to shake him lose. Wyatt goes flying all around on the back of the turkey holding on for dear life!
Wyatt: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! (then starts yelling for Lisa) LIIIISSAAAAA!!!!
Lisa: You're doing great, Wyatt. Just don't let go.
Wyatt: Easy for you to say!
Gary: All right, Wy! (turns to Lisa) You know he is gonna need some help to finish capturing it.
Lisa: Okay. I'll give it a good zap.
Lisa zaps the turkey to try and get it to stop so that Wyatt can finish capturing it, but nothing happens.
Gary: What happened? How come you're magic didn't work, Lis?
Lisa: I don't know. I guess this simulator won't allow me to use any magic. That means we're stuck here until we complete the game.
Wyatt: WHAT!!!! We're gonna be stuck here forever then!!
Lisa: Don't panic guys. We just have to capture these turkeys and then we'll be zapped home.
Wyatt is still riding the turkey when all of a sudden the turkey slows down and stops right infront of Gary and Lisa. Wyatt gets off but still holding on to the turkey.
Wyatt: What happened? How come he just stopped right here in front of you guys?
Lisa: Um... I guess since you've been riding it around in circles for so long that the simulator allowed you to capture it.
Gary: Oh, good. That's one down. Now just another 29 or so to go.
Lisa: Well at least now we know how to capture them!
Gary: Yeah, we'll just let Wyatt go out and get the rest of them.
Wyatt gives Gary an angry look.
Wyatt: I don't think so, Gar. You're turn now.
Gary: Okay. Fine. I'll try one more. (walks out to the turkey field and slowly walks up behind one of the turkeys hoping he can do the same thing Wyatt did — covering the turkey's head with his hat and holding on tight for dear life a few times around the field. He gets even closer now and gets close enough grab it, but takes his hat off and slowly moves it over the bird's head and the snags it over the bird's head causing the bird to take off in a full sprint. Gary is now riding on the back of the bird trying not to fall off. This time, however, the bird is going even faster than the last one.) YEE-HAW!! Hey, this is fun, Wy!
Wyatt: See. I told you so. Just don't fall off....
Gary: No kidding!
Wyatt (to Lisa): You know, I think this ones running even faster than mine. Why is that?
Lisa: Um... I guess each one is gonna start moving faster and faster as we start capturing more and more. Hmm.. this could be more of a challenge than I thought.
Wyatt: Heh heh! Very funny!
Lisa: All right, Gary. You're doing good. Just a few more times.... hang in there!
Gary: Oh I will! This one's mine.
Gary's bird now begins to slow down and stop right where the last one did (in front of the gang) as Gary gets off shaking tremoundously from that wild ride he just had.
Gary: Man, that was wild! Can we do it again?
Wyatt: You wanna go again, Gar? Go ahead! Only this time the next one's gonna go even faster -- keep that in mind.
Gary: Faster? Well, no trouble, they aren't any match for the King here!
Lisa: That's the attitude, Gary! Let's see you go get another.
Gary walks back out on the field to try for another as the screen fades out for the episode's second commercial break.
Screen fades back in showing Gary riding around on top of one of the (now) few turkeys remaining on the field while he's screaming and holding on tight for dear life. This one is litterly flying around the field and Gary is practically flying off the bird's back only holding on to his hat's cords (the rope that ties under your chin when wearing it).
Wyatt: Just hold on Gar. A few more times around and we'll have another. (turns to Lisa) I don't think he's gonna make this one. He's almost entirely off and its only the 3rd lap around out of the 10 laps we have to complete to capture 'em.
Lisa: Oh don't give up on him yet, Wyatt. He's doing great!! Hasn't fallen off yet and they are sure moving at almost lightning speed.
Wyatt: Yeah, he is good.
Cut to Gary riding again.
Gary: Iiiiiieeeeee!!!!! Lisa, make this thing stop!!! I can't hold on much longer....
Just then he completes the 10th lap and the bird comes to a screeching stop right in front of the gang. Gary gets off and is really trembling all over now.
Lisa: Wow, Gary - that was really excellent riding there! Where'd you learn all those moves anyway - The School for Turkeys?
Wyatt starts to chuckle.
Gary: (smiles at them) Heh, heh! Very funny! No, actually it just so happens that some of my ancestor Red Brick Wallace's sons were all Turkey Wrasslin' Rodeo Clowns.
Lisa: Wow! Imagine that Wyatt.
Wyatt: Yeah, no wonder he was so good out there! He's got Turkey Wrasslin' in his genes - no fair! (smirks)
Gary: Um... Wy...
Wyatt: Yes, Gar?
Gary: You better take the last one. I don't think I can handle it anymore.
Wyatt: Um...... How about you Lis? You haven't done any yet. You should get the last one out there.
Lisa: Me? Sure, save the fastest one for pure little me, why don't you? (smirks at Gary and Wyatt)
Wyatt: Oh you can do it, Lis. Show a little faith!
Lisa walks out on the field to catch the final remaining turkey.
Lisa: Let's see. My magic doesn't work on these turkey-Turkeys, but maybe I can still get something out of my zapper. (gets her zapping finger warmed up - glowing with blue electricity - and then zaps up a long lasso in her hand) Okay, buster! This time you're mine! (starts twirling the lasso around and around in the air to get it flying good and fast)
Wyatt: Since when do you know how to lasso, Lis?
Gary: Yeah, have you been holding back on us?
Lisa: No, of course not, Gar. Now, shush and let me concentrate on this over stuffed feathered fiend.
She continues twirling the lasso around and around and then lets it fly. It goes sailing through the air and bounces off the bird's back.
Gary: Ohh, so close!
Wyatt: Not bad though. Try again, Lis.
Lisa: That was just a warm-up try. Now for the real shot.
She starts twirling the lasso around and around again making it really spin fast and then sends it sailing and this time it lashes around the bird's neck. The bird immediately takes off in a super-fast paced sprint with Lisa litterally flying through the air behind holding on to the end of the rope.
Wyatt: Ooh! That's gotta hurt!
Gary: Way to go, Lis!! Hang on.....
Lisa: Iiiiiiieeeeeeeee!!!! Slooooooooowwwwww-ddddddoooooowwwwwwwnnnnnnnnn....... wwwwwiiiiiilllll yyyaaaaa, yooooou biiiigg ovverrrrsttuffffed biirrrd.
Gary: What's the matter Lis? Too fast for you? C'mon if I can do it so can you!
Wyatt: Yeah, you're not gonna let Gary upstage you, are you? Keep with it!
Lisa: Iiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!! Thhhhaaaaaaatttttt'ssss eaaaaassssyyyy fooorrrr yoooou tooo saaaaay.
Wyatt: You're doing great, Lis! Just another couple laps and we should have it.
Lisa: yyeaaaaahhhhh iiifff Iiiii caaaaan haaaang innn theeeerrreee..... iiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!
As the bird (with Lisa flying right behind) rounds the final curve it begins to slow down and comes to a screeching halt right infront of Gary and Wyatt.
Lisa: (comes to a halt lying face-down in the dirt and gets up slowly shaking heavily) Wwwwheeeew! Mmmaaade iiitt!
Wyatt: You did it, Lis! You captured the last turkey.
Gary: So when do we zap out of here?
Wyatt: Yeah, are you sure you're not forgetting something else? How come we're still here?
Lisa: (getting better) Iiii ddonnn't know. We got all the birds so that should have completed our mission.
Off in the distance they see some strange looking men walking up.
Wyatt: Who are they, Lis?
Lisa: I'm not sure. Let's see...
Men: Hi, we're the Pilgrims and we're here to welcome you to our Thanksgiving feast. You've demonstrated great courage and skill by capturing all 30 of our turkeys and now we'd like to offer a nice hot turkey dinner for you as a reward.
Lisa: Really? A turkey dinner? Do you have ice cream here too? I just love Chunky Monkey.
Wyatt: Lis, I don't think they know what ice cream is...
Men: Non-sense! Of course we know what ice-cream is. In fact, we have all 33 flavors which we'll have right after the feast. Shall we go?
Lisa: YES! I'm starved!
Lisa, Gary, Wyatt and the Pilgrims (men) all walk off heading for the feast as the screen fades out for the episode's final commercial break.
Screen fades back in as they're sitting down at a very long table covered with food (lots of "Thanksgiving type of foods" as they begin to say grace as the closing credits are shown slowly at the bottom of the screen with the Weird Science theme music playing softly.
Pilgrim 1: We're going to start by saying what we're all thankfull for. Wyatt, how about you go first?
Wyatt: Sure. Well, I'm thankfull for being able to sit down and have a wonderful turkey dinner with my two best friends in the whole world and also being able to see first hand how you guys celebrate Thanksgiving.
Pilgrim 1: Okay. That was nice, Wyatt. Gary, how about you now?
Gary: Okay, well, I'm thankfull I didn't get killed by those lightning fast turkeys and that we actually won that new game Lisa zapped us into.
Pilgrim 1: How about you now, Lisa?
Lisa: Oh man, let's just eat! I want my chunky-monkey for pete sakes!
Developed in Association With:
w w w . W e i r d S c i e n c e . N e t
©1999. Subject to all rights of St. Clare Entertainment, Universal Studios and USA Network in "Weird Science" and derivative works. No claim is made to the name "Weird Science," and to names and characterizations used in the series. One copy may be made for personal use from this website (that is, downloading it and reading it at one's leisure. That copy may not be retransmitted to other persons or sites. This story may not be copied in whole or in part for commercial use or for posting on newsgroups and websites. Nor may it be archived without the author's and/or WeirdScience.Net!'s consent, and especially not sold in any way, shape or form without express written permission.